GUARDIAN SELF DEFENSE

* names have been changed by request of the victims

Three years ago, Heather* remembers how hard it was to leave behind her family and friends. She remembers having to face the fact that she was once again a freshman. She remembers wanting so badly to be well-liked. But there is one thing that Heather does not remember at all - the night she was raped by two freshman males in a room full of people.

It was the second week of school, and to most freshman girls at Boston College, it was a time to meet friends, go to parties and have as much fun as possible before the homework began to accumulate. Heather says she didn't think twice before she ventured down the hall to hang out with a freshman guy she had just met. When he didn't answer the door, she also didn't think it was strange to go to the party across the hall. Heather entered the small dorm room willingly, and then she started doing shots of vodka until she was "wrecked," until she was passing in and out of consciousness, until she was completely oblivious to what these new friends of hers were capable of doing.

Heather did not even find out what horrible things had happened that night until mid-October, one and a half months after these two male freshman had taken advantage of her. A friend of Heather's had to tell her that they took turns having sex with her, that they put a lampshade on her head, that they wrote all over her face, and that they had an audience.

To many college freshmen, Heather's story is far too familiar, and history is unfortunately repeating itself. According to a 1989 article featured in Good Housekeeping , "Freshmen girls, eager to appear sophisticated, are particularly vulnerable targets for date rape. When it does happen, it is easy for the victim to feel that it was somehow her fault. Humiliated and ashamed, many young women want only to shove the memory of what happened into the farthest corner of their minds."

Heather wanted to do exactly that. She wanted to put it all behind her. She was miserable for days and had met with a counselor. She filed a report, but did not press formal charges. Her file would only be referred to if anyone else reported these same men. "I didn't want to cause a big scene," Heather said. "It was so horrible. I just wanted it to end."

Everyone was talking about it, Heather sadly recalls. The tragic event was said to be true, and Heather was whispered about and called names. Though one of the males who had sex with her that night had the nerve to approach her months later to tell her, "You were wasted. We did not have sex with you," Heather is still certain the rumors are true.

"If I was so wasted, I don't know how much to believe," she said. "Why would I trust someone who would even fool around with a girl who was so drunk? Everyone's definitely confirmed it. I really think those guys are proud of it, almost."

College date rape statistics are horrifying. In 1985, Mary Koss, a researcher at the University of Arizona, conducted the largest study of date rape on college campuses. Koss surveyed 32 campuses for Ms. magazine, and estimated that one in six college women become victims of rape or attempted rape - that statistic has since increased to one in four. Koss found that most rapes occurred on campus, 84 percent of the women knew their assailants, but only 27 percent realized that their sexual assault fell within the legal definition of rape. Sixteen percent said they thought what happened to them was a crime, 11 percent did not feel a crime was committed and 46 percent believed they had been victims of "serious miscommunication" rather than rape.

One in 12 college men responding to the same survey admitted committing acts that met the legal definition of rape or attempted rape, but only 1 percent of those men saw their behavior as criminal. Koss proved that sexual violence has now surpassed theft as the number one security concern at US universities.

Yet, police sources estimate that only 20 to 30 percent of all rapes are reported. Valerie was not among this 20 to 30 percent. She never told the authorities how she ended up leaving a University of Richmond off-campus fraternity party in tears. She never mentioned how a boy she knew from class forced her onto a mattress, ripped her tights to shreds and penetrated her without permission.

"He kept trying to make me feel special and he didn't even know me," Valerie said. "He was all over me, kissing me, and it was apparently obvious because one of his fraternity brothers asked if we wanted a room to hang out in. I thought it was another room with more people in it. Not only was I drunk, I was a stupid idiot freshman."

The room was empty and pitch-black. Valerie remembers it being messy because as soon as she walked in, she tripped and fell onto a mattress. She was only able to hear the sound of the male she thought she knew shutting and locking the door behind him.

"He jumped on me and started to unbutton my shirt, and I just kept trying to button it back up," Valerie said. "He then stood above me holding a condom. I said I didn't need it meaning we were not going to have sex. I think he took it as if I just didn't want safe sex."

At this point, Valerie thought the person she was with was completely insane. "If I wasn't going to kiss this guy, obviously I wasn't going to have sex with him. It's almost as if he expected to have sex and thought it was normal, unless he was the sort of person who makes girls have sex."

He then took off all of his clothes while Valerie frantically searched for her student identification card. "He got on top of me, lifted up my skirt and kept tugging at my tights," she said. "I kept trying to pull my tights back up and still trying to be nice, but all the time saying 'no, no, no.'

"Then he basically had sex with me. He was inside me for a second, but I managed to push him off and ended up kneeling next to him. He grabbed me again, held me on top of him and said 'wrap your legs around me.' I tried to pull my tights up again and ran to the door.

He just sat there, jerked off and came all over the floor." Valerie left that room crying, totally hysterical, but no one really did anything. She thought her friends had left her because that is what he told her, and her first instinct was to call another friend to pick her up at the party. As she waited for the ride, he followed her and offered her another beer. "He saw nothing wrong with what he had done," she said. "He kept saying, 'Don't be upset,' 'We didn't do anything,' and 'Boy, am I going to feel like a jerk in English class.'"

Valerie couldn't get out of bed the next day. She had heard that the normal reaction to such an event would be to take a shower, but the last thing Valerie wanted to do was take off her clothes.

To this day, Valerie avoids this guy, who still attends the University of Richmond. "I see him all the time, and I feel bad for the girls he meets," she said. "I've always wondered if he was drunk.

I hope he was. I hope he wouldn't do that sober. I don't even know if he thought it was rape. It wasn't full-fledged sex, so it wasn't all-out rape, but I definitely did not want it. I was fighting the whole way."

Was Valerie raped? The Federal Bureau of Investigation defines rape as "carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her consent." Dr. Andrea Parrot of Cornell's Department of Human Service Studies writes, "Any sexual intercourse without mutual desire is a form of rape." Valerie did not give permission, and the only desire she had was to get away. The answer to whether or not she was raped is yes.

The entire University of Richmond student body goes to Nags Head, N.C., every May. Finals are finally finished, the sun is shining and paradise is only a three hour drive away. Yet, to Jill, Nags Head was anything but paradise.

Jill and two friends stayed in a hotel for the week. One night they were drinking in the room. "I was very drunk," Jill remembers. "I couldn't stop falling all over the place." The girls then went to some parties, but somehow Jill got separated from her friends. Drunk and ready to pass out, Jill went back to the hotel with friends, said goodnight, and proceeded to vomit before climbing into bed. By the time her two friends had come home with two males they knew from school, Jill was getting ready to go to sleep. One of the males, whom Jill had never met before, sandwiched himself between Jill and her friend in the double bed. He began kissing Jill without ever introducing himself. She kissed him back, thinking nothing of it.

Jill had no idea how her clothes were taken off. "He just got on top of me and we started having sex," she said. "I just laid there completely still. In my head I was thinking, 'What is happening? I don't want to do this. He doesn't even have a condom on to my knowledge.' I didn't move at all. I don't even know why he continued." Jill does not know if he stopped and started throughout the night. She kept passing in and out only to wake up with it still happening.

"I don't even know if I can call it rape," Jill said. "I was definitely taken advantage of. I never would have done it sober, but it's hard to call it rape because I was too drunk to say no."

But is this rape? Like 55 percent of the women who fall victim to rape attempts and 75 percent of their attackers, Jill had been drinking before the rape occurred. Many people may believe that a woman under the influence of alcohol is somehow more responsible for her behavior than a drunken man is for the way he may use her. Because the legal definition of rape turns on the notion of consent, any sexual contact with a woman too drunk to be capable of giving permission is technically a crime. Jill was drunk, too drunk to resist or clearly say no. There was no consent, thus no question. Jill was raped.

Then why aren't these young women pressing charges? Date rape is hard to prove. Unlike other crimes, rape is underreported because of the powerful stigma associated with it, according to Nassrine Farhoody, executive director of The Rape Crisis Center of Central Massachusetts based in Worcester, in the October 27 issue of The Sunday Telegram.

"Unless the victim fits a very narrow window of who we're going to consider credible - [where] it's a random act where you don't know the perpetrator, where you're not dressing provocatively - the victim is automatically going to be blamed," Farhoody said. "I think that's the reason more people don't come forward. That's not something people want to put themselves through--where they become the person on trial."

Though these young women chose not to press charges, they still want to do what they can to keep it from happening to others, especially college freshmen. Though Heather feels that she didn't do anything unsafe by walking down the hall that one tragic night, she recommends that young women should really watch their alcohol consumption. She also feels that college freshmen should stay with a girlfriend to avoid dangerous situations.

Valerie also feels strongly about staying with people you know and trust. She realizes now how unsafe it was to get into a truck full of unfamiliar college males just to go to a party. "Just don't leave your friends anywhere unless you know they want to be left," she said.

"You might think that this is what college is all about, but you still have to have a brain."

Jill blames her situation on alcohol and recommends watching your drinking. When people are drinking, it is even more crucial that friends watch out for one another, she said. "Everything changes when you're drunk," Jill said. "You can't make decisions you would when sober. Then you get taken advantage of and wake up feeling like shit the next morning."

Katie Koestner, a young woman who was raped in 1990 by a man she had been dating as a freshman at The College of William and Mary, also has some advice. Koestner says it is important to remember these things: communicate, be sure that both parties consent to sex, take responsibility and respect one another. "I believe when you're drunk you deserve a hangover, not to be raped," she said. "You should be careful when you drink."

Acquaintance rape happens all the time and college freshmen have to realize that it can happen to them, said Dr. Elizabeth Stott, staff psychologist at the University of Richmond. "Young women should be responsible for themselves, especially at parties, and should use the buddy system," she said. "Beware of becoming isolated and trust your intuition. If things don't seem right, get out of the situation."

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Rape statistics

http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/response/statistics.html

In the year 2000, the crime of rape remains the least reported, least indicted, and least convicted of any major felony. Only 16 out of 100 victims report the crime to police, and only 1 in 100 convicted rapists serve a prison term of more than one year. Shockingly, the figures grow worse instead of better. According to the most recent findings of the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, rape reporting rates are on the decline.

Rape is a recidivist crime, with an average of 7 assaults committed by each perpetrator.

There were 200,000 rapes or attempted rapes and 133,000 sexual assaults in the US committed against people 12 and older in 1998. \
(Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, July 1999)

Given the above number and that Massachusetts represents 2.3% of the nation's population, the rate of adolescent and adult sexual assault in Massachusetts alone is approximately 7,645 per year, 637 per month, 21 per day and 1 per hour.
(U.S. Bureau of the Census, MA population projections, 1995 & National Crime Victimization Survey, 1999)

Black women had higher rape and sexual assault rates than white women and women with lower household income levels had higher rape and sexual assault rates than women with higher income levels in 1998.
(Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, July 1999

88% of sexual assault survivors knew the perpetrator.
(MA Department of Public Health, Sexual Assault in MA 1988-1997: Findings from the Publicly-Funded Rape Crisis Centers and the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, November 1999)

The number of reports of assaults on women by an intimate partner (current/former spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, or date) rose from 11% of reports to 20% between 1988 and 1997.
(ibid)

There were 9,636 sexual assault hotline calls reported from rape crisis centers in fiscal year 1999.
(MA Department of Public Health)

10% of MA residents surveyed believe that "It might be OK" to make a spouse have sex without his or her consent.
(MA Department of Public Health, Sexual Assault in MA 1988-1997, November 1999)

The number one reason survivors did not report to police from 1994 to 1996 was because of embarrassment, shame, and the desire to keep the assault a secret.
(MA Department of Public Health, Sexual Assault in Massachusetts 1988-1999

Studies say that one of four women will be raped in their lifetime. 84% will know their attacker.
(1985 Ms. Study)

Battering is the greatest cause of injury to women in the USA-more than car accidents and muggings combined.
(National Coalition of Battered Women.)

One in four females, and one in seven male children will be sexually abused before age eighteen.
(Community Programs Against Assault)

Every two minutes in America, someone is sexually assaulted or raped (RAINN calculation based on 2003 National Crime Victimization Survey [NCVS] conducted by the Bureau of Justice Services, U. S. Department of Justice [DOJ]).

It is estimated that 20-25% of college women will be victims of an attempted of completed rape during their college careers. In 90% of cases, the offender is known to the victim, usually a classmate, friend or acquaintance.
(Fisher B, Cullen F, Turner M. The Sexual Victimization of College Women. Washington, D.C.: National Institute of Justice and Bureau of Justice Statistics, DOJ, 2000).

Harvard University Police Department reports that 52 sexual offenses occurred on the Cambridge campus and were reported to the police in 2004 (Note: rape is a significantly underreported offense).

In the 2004-2005 school year, 61 Harvard students sought assistance from the Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (OSAPR) last ear after experience a rape of sexual assault.

50% of the assaults reported to OSAPR in the 2004-2005 school involved alcohol, either on the part of the victim or perpetrator.

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Rape Protective Measures

http://www.wcstx.com/prvntrpe.htm

Protect yourself at home

1. Keep entrances well lit.  If normal lighting is not functioning in an entryway, approach with extreme caution.  It is not uncommon for a criminal to remove, unscrew, or break bulbs in entryways.

2. Check the identification of any sales or service persons before letting them in.  Ask for a photo ID.  If you have any doubts phone the company for verification.

3. Equip your home with peepholes, dead bolts, and chain locks.  If you have a child, add a second peephole at their eye level.

4. Never give the impression that you are at home alone if strangers telephone or come to your door.   Advise your children to do the same.

5. Beware of potential hiding places and avoid them.

6. Keep outside bushes and shrubbery trimmed. Overgrown bushes and trees often provide excellent hiding places for criminals.

7. Plant defensive shrubbery around your home, especially beneath windows. Bushes that feature thorns, such as bougainvillea, or stiff, spiky leaves are not good hiding places for criminals.

8. If you come home and find a door or window open or signs of forced entry, do not go in. Go to the nearest phone and call the police.

Protect yourself in your automobile

1. Keep your car in good working order and gas tank at least half full. Make a practice of filling up your vehicle during the daylight hours. Never let it get so low that you are forced to stop for fuel, particularly at night in an area with which you are unfamiliar.

2. Always have your keys out and ready before leaving a building to approach your car. Fumbling through your purse for keys after you've reached your car provides criminals with an opportunity to sneak up on you.

3. Look around and in your car before entering. If you are concerned for any reason, simply walk past your car instead of getting into it.

4. Lock your car door immediately after entering the vehicle. Make this your first action - even before putting the key into the ignition.

5. When stopped in traffic keeps doors locked as usual and leave yourself enough distance from the vehicle in front of you should a criminal attempt to walk alongside your vehicle and gain entry or attack you.

6. Park in well lighted areas and lock the doors, even if you'll be gone a short time. Check your surroundings before getting out of your car. If something or someone strikes you as out of place or threatening, drive away.

7. When you return to your car, have the key ready and check the front and rear seats and floors before getting in.

8. If you are accosted in a parking lot, away from your own vehicle, consider rolling underneath a nearby auto. It is difficult to force anyone out from under a car.

9. If an attacker does manage to get into your car while you are in it, do everything in your power to exit the automobile.  If you are still behind the wheel, steer your vehicle into a barricade, a pole, a wall -- any object that will create a minor accident.  Take advantage while your attacker's attention has been diverted and exit the automobile.   Run, yell, scream.  Attract attention.

10. Don't stop to assist a stranger whose car has broken down. Instead, help by driving to the nearest phone and calling police to help.

11. If you get a flat tire, drive carefully on it until you reach a safe, well lighted and well traveled area.  If necessary, better to ruin a tire than gamble with your safety.

12. If you are involved in an accident, stay in your car until police arrive. In minor accidents where the other driver suggests you exchange insurance information, simply hold up your driver license and insurance card against the window.

13. If you are being followed, don't drive home. Go to the nearest police or fire station and honk your horn. If that is not possible, drive to an open gas station or other business where you can safely call the police. DO NOT leave your car unless you are certain you can get inside the building safely. Try to obtain the license plate number and description of the car following you.

14. If possible, have a cellular phone in your car for use in emergencies.

Protect yourself while walking or jogging

1. Always be alert to your surroundings and the people around you. Walk confidently and at a steady pace.

2. When on the street, walk facing oncoming traffic. A person walking with traffic can be followed, forced into a car, and abducted more easily than a person walking against traffic.

3. Walk close to the curb or on the sidewalk. Avoid doorways, bushes, and alleys.

4. Don't walk alone at night and always avoid areas where there are few people.

5. Be careful when people stop you for directions. Always reply from a distance, and never go too close to the car. Stay far enough away from the car that you can turn and run easily. An alternative is to simply state, "I don't know" and keep walking.

6. If you feel you are being followed, walk to a well populated area.

7. If you are in trouble, attract help any way you can. Scream, blow a whistle or yell for help.

8. Trust your instincts. If a particular place, person, or group of persons make you feel uneasy, go a different direction, do not approach.

Protect yourself from date rape drugs

1. Never leave a drink unattended. NEVER.

2. Do not accept a drink from anyone you would not "put your life into their hands." Remember, any stranger or casual acquaintance could be suspect. Even those people who are mixing or pouring drinks.)

3. If you are feeling sick or dizzy while out socially, go to someone you KNOW and TRUST. If there is no person you can talk to about your condition, call someone on the phone. Never leave alone. NEVER. (The intent of date rape drugs is to get you isolated and then to assault you.)

4. If you think you have been drugged and cannot tell or call someone, call 911. A blood sample can be collected and appropriate tests run.

5. Remember, alcohol greatly increases the effects of these drugs. The mixture could be lethal.

Why Rohypnol, GHB and Ketamine are used in Date Rapes:

1. They are easy to administer. (Stir and dissolve)

2. When victims feel the effects, they often leave and are caught alone and vulnerable.

3. If victims 'come to' during an assault, the drugs render them totally helpless and unable to do anything.

4. When victims are raped, they doubt their experience because of the impaired memory of it.

If You Are Attacked

There is no single strategy that always works, so remember these tips:

1. Keep your head. Stay as calm as possible, think rationally and evaluate your resources and options.

2. It may be more advisable to submit than to resist. You will have to make this decision based on the circumstances. Be especially careful if the attacker has a weapon.

3. Keep assessing the situation as it is happening. If one strategy does not work, try another. Possible options, in addition to non-resistance, are negotiating, stalling for time, distracting the assailant and fleeing to a safe place, verbal assertiveness, screaming to attract attention and physical resistance.

4. Stay alert and observant so that you can better describe the attacker and the assault to the police.

5. If forced to get into a vehicle, your life is in danger, so resist at all cost. Attract attention, cause a disturbance or try to disable your suspect, but DO NOT get into the vehicle. Scream, gouge his eyes, kick or knee him in the groin, stomp on his feet, use your elbows. Fight like you never have before. This is the fight for YOUR life and it could become your last one.

General Security Tips

1. Always let someone know where you are and where you may be going. You should report all unusual stalking or following of you by any suspicious persons.

2. Maintain your personal space. Stay alert! If a person moves inside your comfort zone, move away. If that person persists, run.

3. Be alert when leaving stores or shopping malls. This is a time when criminals know you are carrying cash, checkbooks, credit cards, or valuable merchandise.

4. Don't use outside ATMs at night, or in unfamiliar or unsafe surroundings. This is another time when criminals know you are carrying cash.

5. Avoid filling your arms with packages. You might have to make more trips, but keep one arm and hand free whenever possible.

6. When friends drop you off at home or work, ask them to wait until you are safely inside before leaving. Extend this courtesy to your own friends when driving them to a destination.